You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize