Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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