It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
