i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
