you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
