i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Randomize
