When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
