My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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