Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
