Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
