IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
