Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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