i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
