i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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