If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
