she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
