I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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