At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
