She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
