My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
