We're like a lot better than the average bears
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
