too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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