Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
