a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
