I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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