i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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