never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
