the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
