i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
