it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
