I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
