I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
