there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
