Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This is the high leading the old right now
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
