Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
