So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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