Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I have aggressive nipples.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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