So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Randomize
