She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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