we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
you had me at cake vodka
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
