i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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