so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
