Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
