She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize