its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
