I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize