don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
