And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
