My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
