Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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