At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
