yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
