no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
