the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I love having hate sex.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
