brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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