Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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