i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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